Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Another day Another dollar

Well, after a month and a half of writing and jamming, I can add another pastime to my list: Photography. Not that I can post any of the pictures I take here on the Internet. They are not mine to post. They belong to my employers, which is fair, since they provide me with the film and the camera.

What is this secretive, enigmatic employment I speak of? Is it some kind of spy work? FBI? Bird watching? Good guess, and kind of. While I haven't seen hide nor hair of Xena the Hawk for a while, I have been seeing a lot of ducks...

That's right. I take pictures of ducks. Professionally.

I get the feeling that I'll get tired of hearing the chorus of "YMCA" play as the tours roll in, but not yet.

In the meantime, I get to stand around trying not to get sunburned and meet small waves of tourist/passengers and take their picture and guide them towards their boat/bus contraption. After an hour and a half, when the passengers return, I sell the picture to them. Enough boats come in and go out every half-hour that you keep yourself pretty busy. It's pretty fun.

At about 4:00, the shadow of the space needle falls over our tiny parking lot. It's pretty cool. A short eclipse.

Anyhow, now I can add Photography to the list of professional (however loosely defined) trades I have held, joining Technical Support, Driving, Machining, and Hospitality. Whereas when it comes to the trade of Writing, probably my strongest skill, I am still an amateur.


Sunday, August 16, 2009

Dream Journals, the importance of

Few people know this, but I am psychically gifted with the ability to interpret dreams. I call it a gift because dreams are a potent storehouse of subliminal content, and it can be hard enough to remember them upon waking up to reality, let alone know what they mean. Nevertheless, dream interpretation comes down to sound logic in the end. Let me give you an example:

If you dream about Michael Caine, this means you have impeccable taste.

Easy, right? I know it is difficult to predict what dreams you might be having, but in future posts I intend to use my own dreams as fodder for casting a wide net over the dream-realm, and the inhabitants thereof. Let's not get confused here, though, this gift of interpretation is the opposite of divine influence. Do not take my advice as good advice. Dream interpretation is meant for entertainment purposes only.

So lets get right in to the good stuff. I know I'm not the only one who has had a full blown nude dream. Experts will tell you that this sort of dream represents insecurity about something in your life. I beg to differ.

In my dream, I was running through the African savanna, naked as a jay-bird. Some other stuff happened. I can't really remember. It is important to note, however, that I have never been to Africa, and only know what the savanna looks like from nature specials. In those specials, everything is naked, the lions, the elephants, the crocodiles.

Depending on the circumstances, nude dreams can mean you need to lay off the Planet Earth reruns for a while.

Additionally, is there anything more free than being completely naked? Even zoning out and listening to the soothing narration of David Attenborough (who'd have the Sigourney Weaver version?), can't compare to the breathless joy that comes from letting your stuff flap in the breeze. Insecurity? I think not. There's more to every dream than meets the inner eye.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Funny People, Transformers 2, Terminator 4, Harry Potter 6, The Hangover, Public Enemies, The Ugly Truth,


Used to like movies.
Put my hand to screenwriting.
Should have expected

scripts to be so long.
So long the tendons crackle,
stretched to fit the form.

Saw [Insert Film Here].
Didn't know what to expect.
Should have.

Monday, August 3, 2009


How to Rock:

1. Get a band. (Bagheera)
2. Practice the hell out of your songs. (16 hrs.)
3. No, seriously, practice until you bleed. (16+ hrs.)
4. Specifically, practice until your brain bleeds out through your ears. (24+)
5. Once you have mopped your brain up, find a venue. (Sunset Tavern is awesome!)
6. Practice some more. (Who's counting any more?)
7. Take a short break from practicing. (Good time to invite people to the show.)
8. Practice a lot more.
9. On the day of, get rid of the pre-show butterflies by practicing.
10. Get to the venue, set up early.
11. When it's time to rock, close your eyes. Imagine that you are rocking. When you open them, you probably already will be.

There you have it, Eleven Steps to nirvana like bliss. It's easier than it sounds.

Oh, and after the show, link people to your myspace.